Kakashi's OutofContext Drinking Binge
by FireBendingTimeLord
Summary: Kakashi gets drunk after being thrown out of Sakura's apartment. This is just a part I decided to omit from a story I'm working on, but I love it and I think its fun. Unfortunately, it just didn't work out. It wasn't the story, it was me.


A/N: Here's a random part of a story I decided to throw out, even though I had fun with it. I'm still not sure whether or not I'll publish the main story in the end, but enjoy :)

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"Was he attacked?" Tenzo asked.

"YES! IN FRONT OF THE APARTMENT OF HIS BELOVED STUDENT, THE BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, AND DELICATE SAKURA-CHAAAAAAN!"

"Okay, okay. I think I know what happened." He sighed at Kakashi, then turned to Gai and Lee. "Thank you for your help. I can handle him from here."

"HAI!"

"HAI!"

Tenzo nudged Kakashi with his foot. "Yo. Get up."

"I need a drink" he moaned as he climbed to his feet.

"I have work tomorrow."

"I NEED a DRINK" he snarled back.

Tenzo was not fazed. "YOU have work tomorrow."

Kakashi glared at him.

Tenzo rolled his eyes.

"I'll cry..." Kakashi threatened.

"Alright, alright, fine." Tenzo shook his head in resignation as he gripped the shoulders of Kakashi's vest and dragged him inside. "Let's get this over with."

What no one else in Konoha knew is that Kakashi kept a large stash of alcohol with Tenzo and nowhere else. This was not due to any agreement or lack of cabinet space in Kakashi's apartment, but because of the scene that ensued after a mere half-bottle of sake.

"See? This bottle has labuls," Kakashi noted, bending his wrist to point at the bottle in question, "but women don't have labuls, Tenzo. No labuls! No list of inglidents... no user wannings"

Tenzo looked down at him. "No 'wannings'?!"

"Wan... Wah... Warrrrrnings!!" he enunciated.

Tenzo rolled his eyes.

"I think they should at least come with wan- warrrrr- Ow, Tenzo, these are tight!" Kakashi tested the wooden shackles around his wrists, pinning him to the floor.

"I know."

"One minute she's fine and then BAM! ...a cracked rib."

"You probably asked for it" Tenzo stated factually as he took the straw out of the sake bottle to pour himself a glass. He leaned it back against the block of wood and replaced the straw, angling it towards Kakashi's mouth.

"I bet she wouldna have done that to Sas-ke..." he paused reflectively. "SASUKEEE!!" he bellowed as he strained against the wooden cuffs. They began to crack and Tenzo quickly formed another set at Kakashi's elbows. "I'm gonna push a chidorrri right into his chest," he growled menacingly, "and then give him a hug." Tenzo raised an eyebrow. "I'm gonna go do that right now." Kakashi tried to get up, then fell back down when he remembered he was pinned to the floor. He sighed. "I love Sas-ke" Kakashi confessed. "I love Narto" he added. "I love..." he stopped.

"Tenzo?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think anyone thinks any less of me for being an Academy teacher?"

"Are you asking me about the opinion of the general population or of one certain person?"

"Both."

"No."

"I mean, we all did what we had to at the time, right? I couldn't retire, and the village is still safe... What is there to fight? There's no reason for a fight..." he trailed off and took a long draw of sake. He smiled as he felt the alcohol numb his brain.

"I never used to drink much," Kakashi told Tenzo, "but these days I just don't know what to do with myself. Before, when I had a problem, I solved it. When I had a fight, I fought it. Now..." he rolled his head to the side and looked at Tenzo.

"Kakashi, one could hardly call you a drunk. You've only been drunk three times in the 10 years I've known you. Of course the first time was enough."

"Hahaha! I remember!"

"Yeah, so does the whole town. They had to rewire the entire electrical system."

"I bet Anko remembers" Kakashi said with a sly grin. He closed his eyes and revelled in the distant memory. "Anko's hot" he concluded.

"She still is," Tenzo agreed with an absent nod. "Maybe you could pay her a visit? Y'know... take your mind off of other things."

"Like women."

"That doesn't even make sense," he muttered. "I meant like _her_," Tenzo corrected as he stood up. He picked up the empty sake bottle and opened the door.

"Tenzo?"

Tenzo looked over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"I love her." Kakashi stated soberly, but then turned his head to the wall and grimaced at the pain in his chest. Apparently even alcohol wasn't strong enough to kill that familiar stab. He let his eyelids slide shut as he thought of her. It made him feel happy... or was it misery? The lines between the two got so blurry sometimes.

"Good night, Kakashi."

"Tenzo?"

"Yeah?"

"Has anyone told you that you that you kinda look like an X-men character?"

"A what?"

"Mmm... nevermind."


End file.
